


To Beautiful You

by Skeletons_to_Ashes



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Ruby & Sapphire & Emerald | Pokemon Ruby Sapphire Emerald Versions
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff, Heavy Angst, HoennChampionShipping, POV First Person, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-03-25 03:10:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3794455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeletons_to_Ashes/pseuds/Skeletons_to_Ashes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a messy world, and love is perhaps the messiest thing of all in it. With May now the Champion of the Hoenn region, she's beginning to understand that even the best of the best have their troubles, and hers are just starting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Raise Your Glass

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing this under the assumption that May is 16 (and Steven is 25, as it's mentioned in ORAS). The first chapter contains underage drinking, and fic will contain mature content/topics (but I won't promise smut). Fic will likely be intense at certain parts.  
> Point of view is first person, and will change depending on the chapter between May and Steven.  
> First chapter is from Steven's point of view.

Bright lights hung from the high ceiling, slowly rocking back and forth on thin chains. Scattering the light of the candles perched on them about the dark carpeting. Adorned with rounded tables gathered at the edge of the large room. Walls a color I couldn’t have been bothered to recall, as I felt the smooth fabric of the tablecloth crumple between my fingers. The blood was draining from my knuckles with each contraction of my hand, and the drinks set on the table surface seemed to creep towards me with each passing moment. Their owners barked hushed concerns into my ears, as their grubby fingers fumbled about the retreating cloth for their glasses. The hard metal of a ring pressed firmly into my palm, and I could begin to feel its pattern imprinting on my skin through the thin fabric. 

A mutter. Something at the base of my ear. Words I couldn’t make out. I whipped around to see the stout man who had shifted up beside me flinch. He reached a hand up to grasp at my shirt, slimy palms slipping along the fabric’s surface before he finally tugged firmly on its hem. “Sir,” He managed to choke out over the sound of the upbeat music that echoed throughout the room. 

Clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, and willing away the angered wrinkles from my forehead, “What is it?” Still the words felt curt, and he recoiled with a nervous sputter. Removing his trembling, sweaty hand from my shirt to grasp the cup he had been holding in his other tightly. The plastic crumbling inward with the added pressure. 

“You’re, uh, well, we’re getting a little worried about you.” He offered a sideward glance to the small collection of people hovering over the table. Their glasses held high above the cloth, as they eyed the way it inched forward towards my hand. Their gazes fixed on my back, as I turned only briefly to look at them. “You, well, seem tense,” He said, gaining a bit of courage when I had looked away. “I mean this is a party to celebrate May's claiming of the championship title, so, uh, you should, you know, relax.” Each word out of his chubby mouth only served to grate against my nerves, and I felt the cloth pull even tighter beneath my hand. 

“You shouldn’t be so insensitive, he did just lose his title to the girl. He could be upset,” I heard a woman behind him whisper loudly towards the short man. Her hand cupped over her brightly colored lips, as if shouting into her palm would prevent me from overhearing the words. 

“Of course I’m not,” I snapped before even thinking about it, swallowing the words nearly the moment they left my mouth. Quickly turning away from the gawking group, as chatter exploded behind me. Fantastic. My free hand rose to press against my forehead, slowly rubbing my thumb and index finger into the skin. I could feel the ache in my head growing with each thump of the music, and loud mummer of the people around me. 

“Oh, it’s okay, no one’s perfect.” The woman waved a hand in front of her. “You still have many fans.” By now I had gathered at least a third of the tablecloth within my hand, and remainder was threatening to join it if I could manage to wrinkle it as badly as the skin of my forehead was starting to crease. 

“Ma’am, I thank you for your support, but I’m afraid it’s not welcomed at the moment.” I tried to swallow my anger. Truly, it was all I could do to keep myself planted firmly where I stood. I couldn’t keep my eyes on the others for long, and my attention didn’t linger on them either. It wandered back towards the center of the room for what must have been the tenth time in that moment alone. Always drawn back to the same person, no matter how hard I tried to look away. The flowing of her dress along the floor. The smoothness of her hair finally down about her petit shoulders. And the ever so slight sound of her voice over the music’s quieter beats. Her hands so softly placed in another’s. I leaned back against the table. Mostly I was mad at myself, but I hated the way people looked at her. I hated the way she stumbled in their arms, and each passing second I could feel my suspicions growing. My teeth gritted, as I saw a man hand her another glass. The liquid dripping over her chin, and spilling onto her dress as she clumsily brought the drink to her lips. 

“Steven!” I whirled back towards the group. “Would you like a drink?” The woman giggled. I could feel my patience slipping away from me, and biting down on my tongue wasn’t enough to stop the lashing I wanted to give every last one of them. But a loud crash stole every word from my lips, as a series of shouts, and loud laughter drowned out the grating sound of the woman’s laughter, as her eyes stumbled across the floor. Only when I realized where her bony fingers were pointing did I look towards the source of the commotion.

Whatever color, if any had managed to remain despite my rage, drained from my face. I felt the fabric slip away from my fingers, and my legs moved before I had the chance to stop them. There was only so much I could take, and that limit had been reached long ago. I lost count of the number of startled, and concerned gazes tossed my way, as trainers and businessmen alike hurled themselves out of my path. And before I had even realized the amount of ground I had covered in a few short seconds, I had grabbed hold of a man’s arm and yanked it back. His loud yelp only then making me realize what I had done in my anger, and forced me to gather my wits. 

In the center of the room, the music had stopped, and all eyes were on me. And May. On that gritty carpet she sat with her legs flat against the ground, bits of a broken glass scattered about her, and the remnants of a rather pungent stench lingered on her drenched dress. Its color stained a dark red against her pasty, and sweaty skin. And beside her I stood, with a stranger’s arm locked within in my tightening grasp, as I felt him struggling against my hold. His legs flailing against the carpet, as he flopped about the ground in an attempt to escape. Grunting, and trembling in pain, as he tried to twist his arm out of my grasp. Regret toyed only briefly in my mind, and a part of me wanted to snap his wrist. I wasn’t certain he had been the one who had gotten her to this point, but all of me wanted to blame him for it. 

With a shaky breath, I finally released him. I had messed up. I knew that much, but I turned away from the stumbling man regardless. “May.” My voice was shaking, and I offered her the steadiest hand I could manage. A gentle smile graced over her young features, and she eagerly set her wet hand in mine. Carefully, I pulled her onto her feet. My relief only lasing a moment, as she stumbled forward, and I clasped my hand onto hers to keep her from falling onto the glass below. Apparently unaware of her situation, she swirled around on her heels towards me, falling with her free hand and head against my chest.

“Oh, hello, Steven. If I had known you were, I would have asked you for a dance,” She slurred, as a laugh fell from her lips. I could smell the alcohol on her breath as she leaned closer to me. My foot slid back, and I wanted to step away from her, but if I pulled away now she would fall. 

“May.” There was a lot I wanted to ask her in that moment, but I held my breath. If I asked her about the drinks she had, I would only further serve to ruin her image in the eyes of the lurking media. “Your father needs your help with the Gym.” It was the best lie I could come up with off of the top of me head, and just short of me dragging her out of the party. I doubted it was convincing, but I also doubted she would question it. 

“Right now?” She whined loudly, pressing her body further against mine, as she reached a clumsy hand towards my shoulder, feet still tripping over the carpet. And I quickly wrapped my free hand around her waist to keep her from tumbling onto the ground, and taking me down with her.  
“Yes.” A pout formed on her face, and I carefully turned her away from the flashing lights. 

“But now that I know you’re here, I want to spend more time with you.” I could feel her pushing against me, and for a moment I felt my heart stop.  
“Later,” I managed to shove out, and that appeared to be a good enough answer for her, as she leaned away from me. Heels clicking, and stumbling against the carpet, as she tried to walk beside me. Ankles bending in, and I feared they would snap if she continued on in such a way. And I gathered my arm around her waist once again, tugging her into my side to support her, as I led her towards the door. I wanted her to walk out. I wanted her to leave this place with some of her dignity still held together. Slowly, we managed to reach the doors, and slip out. 

“I’m sorry, May.” She offered me a confused, but joyful look, her hand still firmly grasping onto mine, as I removed my hand from her waist. Setting it against her back, as I slipped my hand from hers, ad reached beneath the backs of her knees to hoist her into my arms. Forcefully, she threw her arms around my neck, and yanked me towards her. 

“Steven,” I tightened my hold on her, as she pulled herself up. Forehead pressing against my face, as she wiggled about in my hold. “Are you really taking me home? I want to stay with you.” 

“I’m taking you home.” My voice was stiff, and she whined loudly into my ear. 

“I don’t want to go,” She protested, and began to struggle in my arms. Her legs kicking out from beneath her, and I grabbed tightly onto her thigh in an attempt to keep her from wiggling out. 

“May, that’s enough.” But she didn’t listen, and her relentless kicking was making my hand slip from her soaked dress, even as I tried to grasp onto the fabric itself. She grabbed hold of my shoulders tightly, and I tried to grab her back when she lunged forward, shoving all of her weight towards my upper body. Tightly I grasped her, as I felt my shoes slide out over the grass, and the ground leave me. Before it found my back again. Hard. With all of her weight on top of me, a surge of pain rushed through my spine, and I gritted my teeth. 

Her hands placed themselves on either side of my head, as she shoved herself up before I had the chance to recover. The strap of her dress slipping down the bare skin of her arm, as she hung her head over mine. “Steven,” She slurred, as she yanked a hand out of the dirt to set it against my chest. A painted, but chipped nail ran along the center of my shirt, as I quickly sat up with her still seated on my lap. “I’ve really always loved you.” My heart leapt into my throat at the sound of the words leaving her mouth, and it was all I could to swallow it back down. Even as my breath caught tightly within my mouth, and I could feel her hands clumsily undoing the clasps on my shirt, and yanking my sleeves away from my shoulder. Ripping the fabric, as she tugged it down my arm. Her finger ghosting over my skin, as she leaned forward. Rosy lips hovering above mine. 

“May,” I whispered harshly, as I brought my hand up to her mouth, and carefully pushed her off of me. “Enough.” I could feel her lips quiver against my palm, as she yanked her hands away from me. Pressing her palms against her face, as her body began to shake. Tears streaming through her fingers. 

“Why?” I heard her breathe through her sobs. “Why do you hate me?” My heart felt like it must have weighed a thousand pounds in that moment.


	2. Like Moths to a Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the horrid night she had, and an unwanted visit from her best friend, May struggles with the guilt of upsetting her family, as well as the trouble she had brought for Steven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May's point of view. 
> 
> Hopefully I found all of the paragraph breaks in this. I'm still learning how to use this website (forgive me). 
> 
> I probably won't upload chapters so close together in the future, but I'm ahead of what I planned, so I figured why not?
> 
> It took every ounce of my willpower not to call the paparazzi the pokerazzi.

The most ungraceful groan to ever be released blurted out loudly into the fabric of my pillow, as I rubbed my mouth against its stained surface. Wrinkling my nose inward, as it brushed over the damp fabric where drool had managed to collect into a neat little pile. It was all I could do to suppress the urge to scream. To be honest, I’m certain I already had. The events of last night were fuzzy at best, but oh could I remember the worst parts of it so very clearly. Biting my lip in disgust, I kicked my bare legs hard against my already abused mattress, shaking its aged springs beneath my body. A choice I regretted in an instant, as I felt breakfast quickly rushing towards my mouth all over again. With the whine of a hungry Poochyena, I shoved my face into my pillow. This whole thing felt like some wild nightmare straight out of a cheesy teenage romance novel. 

“I’m an idiot,” I moaned. Muffled and pained voice barely sounding like it even belonged to me at this point. What I had prayed to have been a terrible dream had now become my new reality. Or at least, that was the throbbing ache of my head, dryness of my mouth, and pained cries of my stomach were informing me. Wrapping my arms tightly around my pillow, the urge to smoother myself grew with each passing moment I was given to delve further into my thoughts and blurry memories. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, as my mind pieced together the shattered remains of last night’s disaster, and of this oh so wonderful morning after it. Even now, I still couldn’t get the sounds of cameras, and loud reporters out of my mind. Or of my mother chasing them off. I had never seen the woman move faster or yell louder before in my life. 

The low thumping at my bedroom door made a whimper leave my lips, and I pressed the pillow as hard against my ears as I could possibly manage. “Go away.” The intruder would have had to have the ears of a Whismur to have heard my mumbled protest. And, sure enough, they hadn’t. With a creak of my wooden door, I knew some unwanted soul had slipped into my room. “No,” I grumbled out, kicking against my bed in an attempt to ward them off. But the laugh that followed in response made me want to chance lunging for the door, yet my aching body refused to move.

“Heard you had one wild night without me, May,” Came that accursed boy’s voice, as I heard his socks shuffle along the floor. Followed by the squeaking of wheels dragging over the carpet to the side of my bed, and, finally, the sound of him flopping down in the chair that he had brought right next to my head I knew I was in for it. He had made himself comfortable. 

“Brendan, get out,” I snarled, slowly shifting my face to the side in order to glare at the shit eating grin plastered onto that flawlessly smooth face of his. But all I managed to do was add fuel to the fire when the walls of my room began to circle around him, and I felt my mattress threaten to crawl out from under me. Quickly, I shoved my face back into the safety of my pillow in order to quell the horrid bout of dizziness that my sudden movement had caused. 

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” He mocked, “I mean you’re still alive, after all, and at least your mom chased off the paparazzi before they put that face you just made in the paper.” I yanked my arm out from beneath my pillow to hold up my hand at him, clumsily fumbling through my own fingers until I managed to get the middle one up. I’m sure the face he had made in response to my action was a haughty one, and I was glad I couldn’t see it. 

“I might as well be, and I’m sure the picture they got is just as flattering.” I heard him laugh. It must have been bad. I hadn’t seen it yet. I don’t think I ever want to either. Oh, Arceus, please don’t let Steven have seen it if it was bad enough to make Brendan laugh at the thought of it. But even letting the older man’s name cross my mind at this point was still enough to heat my face up all over again. Turning it bright red against the white of my pillowcase, and I tugged up the sides of it in a pitiful attempt to cover the increasing size of my blush. 

“Well, I’ll let you decide that on your own when you’re ready.” 

“You’re such a gentleman,” I said. “Why are you here?” I wanted him to leave. I wasn’t done moping yet, and he was interrupting the precious few hours I had left to do so before my father came home. I’m sure he’s just thrilled by the news of his daughter getting drunk at her celebration party, and having to get carried home by the former champion. It was a lecture I knew was coming, but couldn’t possibly prepare myself for. 

“What, I can’t visit my best friend when she’s feeling down?” There was a pause before he decided he had the audacity to tack on another comment, “And sick, by the looks of it.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, patting it gently in a manner that could have only been considered mocking.

“No, you’re the last person I want to see.” All right maybe not last, but I didn’t even want to say his name out loud, so-

“Really? I thought Steve-“

Of course he would. “Shut up!” I yelled as loudly as I could manage. Felling around the cluttered sheet for a spare pillow. When my fingers graced over the soft fabric, I grasped its fluffy surface, and hurled it in towards my neighbor. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear a scream, which meant I had missed my target. 

“Well, you know, there are plenty of other Feebas in the sea. I mean, if you’re into older guys, I think Archie is single, and, oh, and I think Watson is too,” I could hear him trying to hold back his laughter, as he blurted out whatever names came to the top of that annoying head of his. 

“When I feel better I’m going to pulverize you.” I pushed my hand along the sheets, searching for something else to throw, but the only other pillow I had was currently supporting my head. Forcing myself to drown my current desire to tackle Brendan, I shoved my arms beneath my pillow once again, and hugged it tightly. If only it would make the throbbing stop, and solve all of the troubles I was going to have to face when I felt well enough to drag myself out of bed. Maybe I should consider never leaving my room again. If I cried maybe my mother would take pity on me, and shove food through the little crack under the door every so often. 

“Joking aside, I came to tell you there’s a lot of bad rumors floating around after the article that was released about you this morning,” Brendan admitted, as he poked at my cheek to see if I was still listening. With a lazy wave, I smacked at his finger, missing terribly. 

“Great,” I sighed. I could only imagine with the amount of screaming my mother had done at reporters this morning, it couldn’t have been anything good. Hopefully they were just bad like Brendan had said, and not terrible like I had convicted myself they were. 

“Well, your parents will probably tell you about the others once your dad gets home, but I think you’re going to want to know this.” He paused, and pulled his finger away from my face. I couldn’t think of anything worse than people calling me some sort of wild child, so I sucked in a deep breath, and prepared myself for the unfavorable rumors about me Brendan was going to spill. “Well, people are accusing Steven of drugging you, and a bunch of other stuff too. I though you’d want to know.” 

For a moment, my brain didn’t quite understand the words that had slipped from Brendan’s mouth. And then my heart lurched forward, and I felt my throat close up, as I gripped my poor pillow even tighter when my mind finally slammed me with the news. I had fully expected the awful tales that would be told about me, but Steven? He didn’t deserve this at all. The last thing I had ever wanted was to drag the man I had loved for so long down with me. I had been so awful to him last night, and now my actions were hurting him, as well. I recalled those blurry images, and slurred words of our meeting at the party, and they made me want to jump off of the nearest bridge.

“Steven didn’t do anything, though,” I protested quietly, as I heard the chair shift, and Brendan leaning closer to me in order to hear the hushed words. Teeth digging into my lips, as I pictured the reports shoving their microphones into the former champion’s face while hurling questions about me at him. 

“Right, but try telling that to everyone else.” Brendan meant well, but the words pounded against my strained brain like a hammer. Of course, who would listen to me? No one was going to take my word for anything. 

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Even as the words came out of my mouth I knew how unlike me they sounded. I couldn’t just sit her and complain about hoe terrible I felt for Steven. “I have to do something.” 

“Like what? No one is going to take your word for anything.” So, he was right. When was he ever wrong to begin with? 

“I don’t know. I have to find a way to fix this. The least I can do is apologize to him.” I eased my hold on my pillow, and sunk deeper into my mattress. Forcing my brain to fish through the murky images of last night in order to come up with an idea. 

“I mean, that’s a nice thought in theory, but I don’t think anyone is going to let you in to see him anytime soon with all of the rumors going around.” Did he always have to be right? I wanted to kick him. Okay, so maybe I wanted to kick everyone else instead, but Brendan just happened to be within my reach. 

“Fine, then help me sneak into the Devon Corporation’s building.” I heard the startled sound of him stuttering beside me.

“Have you finally lost your mind?” Probably. 

“I’m serious. I have to apologize to him in person. I’ve made a mess of everything for him.” And myself, but that could wait. 

“All right, fine, but you owe me big.” I felt relief wash over me at the sound of Brendan’s words. I knew sneaking in wasn’t the best of ideas, but I would never be able to live with myself if I didn’t apologize to Steven. I might be the last person he wants to see, but if I’m going to survive this entire ordeal, I was going to need to apologize to the man I had taken along for the ride. 

“Thank you, Brendan.” I knew I was going to regret asking for his help once I found out over the top thing he wanted in return for it, but I could find a way to wiggle myself out of debt when my brain was functioning normally again. 

Another knock on my door tore me away from my thoughts. Oh no. I bit my lip. I wasn’t ready for this yet. I heard Brendan stumble over the chair, as the door creaked open slowly. When the ‘sir’ fell out of the boy’s mouth I knew I was in for it. I groaned, as I heard him whisper good luck into my ears before scampering out. Weakly, I pushed my head to the side to stare into the enraged eyes of my father. If I lived to see tomorrow I would be lucky. Well, actually, at this point, I might be lucky if I didn’t.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I whimpered against the pillow. If I beat him to the punch maybe he wouldn’t do so quick to scold me. “I didn’t mean for everything to get so out of hand.” But his silence was terrifying, and gripped the soft surface of my pillow even tighter. He was a prideful man, and he had always raised with me with such values in mind, but only now, as I stared back at him, did I realize I had trampled over everything he had taught him in the span of one night. I shut my eyes, squeezing them tightly, as I tried to will away the image of his face from my mind. Never in my life had I had seen so much shame, and disappointment on the strong visage of my father. I wanted to apologize again. I wanted to cry. I had wronged more than just myself, and I could feel the weight of that realization crushing me. 

“Apologize when you mean it.” The words were like the final blow to my chest, and I felt the air leave my lungs. He didn’t sound angry, but that made it so much worse. I would rather hear him yell at him in rage than speak to me with pity. “But I’m glad you’re safe.” Even if they eased the pain a little, they couldn’t change the fact that I knew I had upset my father. I curled my knees towards my chest, as I heard the soft thumping of his shoes against the wooden floor. I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes, even as I felt my bed shift, and my father’s weight join my own. His steady hand reached out, and ruffled my messy hair gently. “I was so worried about you.” I felt my stomach flip, as the words left his mouth. All of the pain from aching head seemed dull in comparison to the guilt boiling up inside of me, as I shoved my face back into my pillow. I couldn’t look at him. I had hurt everyone I loved. Everyone I had ever wanted to make proud. I thought I could only hurt myself with my actions, but each passing second filled with my more shame, and I learned just how wrong I had been.


	3. To Bury the Hatchet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May's point of view again.

_Holy Arceus_ were the only words that crept into my mind upon taking in the sight of the massive building. I had been here many times before, but today it seemed bigger than ever. And I forced myself to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat, as I continued to stare into the tall windows that covered the nearly golden surface of the Devon Corporation. My fingers laced through the holes of the dark fence, as I leaned onto its cold surface. My body pressing as hard against the intricate lines as I could manage, and I tried desperately to not hold my breath. Squeezing my hands against the smooth metal, as I tried to count the number of people loitering in the courtyard. More than I had ever counted before, and many of them I didn’t recognize. But the large, black bags hanging against their hips, and curious gazes were all I needed to see to know that running into them would result in more trouble than it was worth. 

“Stop shaking,” I whispered harshly, as I felt Brendan’s arms vibrate against my back when I tried to peer deeper into the windows. Thrusting my elbow back, I slammed it into his side. “Don’t chicken out on me now,” I snapped, releasing my hold on the fence to whirl around and face the trembling form of my neighbor behind me. Setting my palms against my hips, I stretched out on my tippy toes to stand above his hunched form. His arms were tightly wrapped around the area my elbow had connected with, as a whimper sounded from deep within his throat. One he tried go compress, but failed terribly at doing so. 

“I’m not, but how are you planning on getting in with all of these people around?” Brendan muttered, glancing around me to look at the collection of people in the courtyard. With a huff, I turned on my heels to face the building once again, leaning into the fence in order to get a better view of the property. An hour had passed since we had arrived, and each minute seemed to bring more people with it. I pressed my lips together in growing frustration, as they paced around the complex. Don’t they have anything better to do? 

“I’ll just have to make a run for it.” I heard the groan that slipped past Brendan’s lips at my words, and brushed it off. I could feel my chances of catching Steven slip away with each passing moment, and I wasn’t going to waste what little time I had left waiting for something to distract the group from their mission to ruin my life. 

“May.” I could hear the strain, and desperation leaking into his voice, as he reached out to grasp the back of my shirt, as if he was afraid I would dart off right then and there. I snorted loudly, turning to glare at him. “You’ll never make it.” So, I probably wouldn’t, but we won’t know until I try, right? Even I knew how unreasonable my own thinking was, but at this point, I couldn’t come up with anything better. 

Dropping my arms to my side, I tore my gaze away from Brendan in mock annoyance. “Fine. Do you have any bright ideas then?” 

With a sigh, he released his hold on my shirt. “Let’s try to be reasonable. They’re only here to see if anything newsworthy happens.”

“Duh.” His eyes pulled together in a glare at the sound of my voice. 

“So, we’ll just make something happen. Basically, I’ll distract them, and you run in. Just try not to get caught by any of the guards or other employees once you get in. I’ll find a way to catch up with you later.”

I grasped Brendan’s shirt tightly within my hands just as he released his hold on my own. A startled yelp left his mouth, and he began to wiggle against my hold. But I still managed to get out a, “Thank you.” 

Relaxing against my hold, he allowed a smile to cross over his features. “Just don’t forget that you owe me for it.” He slipped out of my grasp before I had the chance to protest. And I bit my lip to keep myself from yelling at him when he waved a carefree hand in my direction. Balling my fists, I watched him race towards the front the building. Praying whatever he had planned wouldn’t end up backfiring on us. Yet, even as the thought crossed my mind, I could bury the sound of my own heartbeat increasing steadily within my chest. Each thump getting louder and louder. Soon. Soon I would be able to speak with Steven again. To see him. I yearned so badly for the chance to meet with him. Digging my nails into my palms to shove the thoughts aside, I tried to focus on Brendan’s retreating back. I couldn’t see Steven if I got caught before I made it up the stairs. 

I couldn’t make out the words from where I stood, but I could see his arms waving wildly above his head. His feet dancing against the pavement, as he pointed in seemingly random directions while yelling gibberish I couldn’t hope to understand. I had to hold my breath to keep myself from laughing at his theatrical performance. And it appeared that the people in the courtyard felt the same way, barely paying any attention to the frantically flailing boy in front of them aside from a giggle here or there. For a moment I feared he would never get their attention, but finally, he shouted something that earned him a few glances. And in a moment, hands were digging into their bags, and feet were shuffling quickly along the street. Camera being yanked out, and prepared to film. Blotting out from their hiding places to rush out of the gates, and after Brendan’s fleeing form. 

Muttering a soft ‘good luck’, I slipped out from behind the gate. Hands pressed firmly against my chest, as I slowly entered the courtyard. Kneeling down beside one of the bushes next to the fence. I took a deep breath. There was no one left. Just stones, and lights now. This was my chance. Still not daring to breathe, I rushed out from the bush, and yanked open the glass doors of the building. Inside was another world entirely, and I quickly spotted several employees hunched over the counter on the first floor. Quickly slipping out of the path of the door, I yanked my headband off, for lack of a better idea, and pulled it out to its full length before draping it over my head. Not the best disguise, but I figured it could buy me a few seconds if someone saw me. 

Tip-toeing towards the stairs, I peered around the corner only to spot a man standing in front of them. Of course, nothing could ever be easy. He was probably there to keep reporters from getting to Steven, which I was both thankful for and angered by at the same time. Turning away from the man, and pressing my back against the wall, I dug through my brain for any excuse that would get me past the guard. Releasing the breath I had been holding in, I coughed quietly into my hand before shouting, “Sir, intruder!” As deeply as I could manage. I saw him fly to his feet, and fling himself around the corner. Taking the few seconds I had bought myself, I slipped behind him, and rushed up the stairs. 

Thankfully, the other floors appeared to be empty, as I quietly crossed over them. Either they had already finished or they had been given the day off. While this made getting in easier, it also made me wonder if Steven was here. But there was only one way to find out, and I trudged forward towards the upper floors. Somewhere Steven should have his own office, or, well, I assumed. I hardly wanted to have to face his father along with him. And I scanned each of the rooms I passed carefully, as I climbed the stairs. Glass walls surrounding each small office I saw, making it easy for me to peer inside them. But they were all empty. Nearing the top floor, I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Maybe he really wasn’t here. 

I shook my head. No. There was no time to get discouraged. For all of the trouble Brendan had gone through, I had to at least check every room. And finally, I had managed to climb my way all the way up to the second floor from the top. Empty, aside from a single office, and a few potted plants scattered about the floor. I guess they didn’t want this place to feel too spacious. Glancing towards the staircase I had come up to make sure the guard hadn’t caught onto me yet, I slipped towards the lone office. Each step hammering against my ears, no matter how softly I tried to take it. But even louder was the sound of my heart throbbing against my chest. My desire for Steven to be within that room increased with each step I took in its direction. I pressed my hand firmly against my beating heart in a pitiful attempt to muffle the sound of its frantic beating. This was it. He had to be here. He just had to be. 

But as I leaned closer to the glass I heard the sound of boots smacking against the stairs. I didn’t have time. I scurried out from where I had been, and slid into the door to the office. My hands trembling wildly, as each hurried step the guard took on the staircase echoed into the empty halls. I could barely twist the handle open with all of my shaking, fumbling with the knob until I finally managed to fling it open. Throwing myself inside, as it slipped shut behind me. I wiggled my way across the pristine floor, and towards a desk that sat in the southwest corner of the room. I shoved myself beneath it, and hugged my knees as close to my chest as I could manage. My breath catching in my throat, as I heard the door click. My teeth sank into my lip, and I buried my head against my knees. Yanking my feet as close to my butt as I could manage. 

The sound of his shoes against the floor kept growing louder, and with each step he took I could see my life flashing before my eyes. I pulled my bandana in front of my face, as I squished my body as close together as I could. Still, the steps continued to grow louder. So loud that I could hear them tap against the desk. He was here. I was done for. If he caught me, well, I wouldn’t be able to save myself from the storm. I Fisted my hand around my bandana, and against my knees. I’m not going down without a fight. 

I lunged out from beneath the desk, as I heard the startled shuffling of shoes against the floor. Closing my eyes; every prayer I knew going through my mind, I shoved my bandana into the man’s face. I felt my body slip out from beneath me, as he fell back, and stumbled over his body, opening my eyes to grab my bandana, and make my escape. Only to realize that I had just tackled Steven to he ground. 

I could feel my face burn, as I shoved the fabric of my bandana into it, swallowing the scream that so badly wanted to rip from my throat. “I’m so sorry, I thought you were the guard,” I blurted out, still keeping the fabric pressed to my face. I could hear him moving, and part of me wished I would have taken the chance to bolt while I had been blessed with it. 

“May, what are you doing here?” His voice sounded so harsh against my ears, and I had to slide the bandana down to make sure it truly was Steven standing before me. But the thump of my leaping heart confirmed that it was in fact Steven once I caught sight of his stern face. 

I gathered up what little courage I could still cling to, and spoke as firmly as it would allow me, “I need to talk to you.” I straightened myself up, and kept my gaze locked on those beautiful eyes of his. But I could feel my legs shaking. His smooth face, and the roughness of his hands. I wanted to touch them again. I wanted to hold them. Every desire I had ever felt rushed to me at once, and I yearned so badly for the chance to spew out my feelings all over again. But I swallowed hard. No, May, you’re here to make things right. Not make them worse.

“There is nothing we need to talk about.” He turned away from me, and I felt my resolve slowly drain from me. “I’m glad you’re all right, and that you seem to be doing well.” He sat down in the chair before the desk, gathering up the papers that had been scattered across it when I had leapt out from beneath it. “Take your leave, I have no interest in hearing you out or speaking to you again.”

I felt my hand form into a fist. Nothing? Did he really think that? Am I really nothing to him after everything? Am I really not worth speaking to? Ever. Did that mean never again? I bit hard down onto my lip, as I felt my courage boil into rage. Storming over to the desk, I slammed my fist down onto its surface, and leaned over it to look him in the eyes. He met my gaze calmly, but just barely bothered to look up from his papers. “Of course there is!” My voice grew louder with each passing second, but I couldn’t stop myself. “I came here to say I’m sorry for messing everything up for you. I’m sorry that you’re in trouble because of me. I’m really sorry I got you caught up in all of this. But-” I felt my breath hitch in my throat, as he hesitated. Gaze turning away from me, as I saw sorrow creep into those eyes of his. 

“Enough, May,” I could barely him say over the sound of my own anger. “We have nothing to discuss, and there is work I need to get done. Leave.” I knew he meant those words harshly, but there was a weakness in his voice as he said them. But that weakness wasn’t enough to quell my anger.

“No,” I whispered, “Most of all, I’m sorry for ever thinking I meant anything to you,” I snapped. Last night wasn’t nothing. Last night was the first time he held me in his arms. The first time I had ever admitted my feelings for anyone. The first time I felt my heart do a backflip over someone. The first time I truly knew I loved someone with all of my being. Removing my fist from the table, I leaned back. “I’m sorry for coming here.” I turned away from him, fighting the urge to shout even more regrets at him, as I began to storm off. 

I heard him rise to his feet. “May, wait,” His sweet voice called out, as he followed after me.

“No, leave me alone!” I ripped open the door, and ran out of it. I could hear Steven running after me, but all I could feel was regret forming a pit in my stomach. He was so much different from me, and, yet, I had somehow thought things could work out between us. I could hear him calling my name, but even that didn’t bring me happiness, as I rushed down the stairs. Something about it being his fault, and an apology I didn’t deserve, but I drowned out his words. I was the one at fault. I was the one who had ruined everything. I was the one who had tried to force myself into his life. I had done something awful to the man I loved. 

I could hear shouts pouring in around us, and I fought through the crowds that had formed at the front door. Smacking away the arms that reached for me, and pushing through those damnable doors and into the courtyard. My eyes slipping shut, as flashes went off all around me. I had made everything worse. It was over.


	4. Love is a Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven regrets how he treated May, and Norman tells him that May is missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven's point of view.
> 
> I apologize for the delay, my best friend got me into Pokemon Rumble World, and I haven't had time since.

Sinking down into my chair didn’t feel quite the same as it normally did. The wood was hard against my back, the rug felt rough against my feet, and the table felt too far away. Even the mug pressed against my palms felt too cold. The atmosphere felt clogged, and heavy within my own home, but worst of all, I felt like a stranger in this house. The bed shoved against the corner didn’t register as my own, nor did the small kitchen tucked away in the opposite one. The stones I had spent years gathering felt completely foreign to me. As if these hands of mine hadn’t dug them out, and I found the memories of the former atonement and joy they had once brought me buried somewhere beneath all of the murk that muddied my thoughts. 

Tightening my hold around the mug, I leaned back against the solid surface of the chair, as if being unable to feel it would detach me from my own life entirely. There was a pressure boiling in my head, but not of pain; only of an odd feeling. One that made it feel as if this body and mind were not one, and they were slowly trying to crawl away from one another. That this body and mind were not mine. But the weight shoving down hard against my chest pushed me to believe otherwise. The tugging pain it produced, and the numbing sensation it forced onto me continued to hint that this body and mind were in fact mine. 

I felt a warm breath ease past my lips as I exhaled. Frustration creasing the skin on my forehead. My head was trying to rip itself apart, and I couldn’t even place whose side I was on anymore. What part of myself did I want to win the battle wagging within in my mind? Neither. Or, so I would have wanted to say, but instead I found myself rising to my feet, flinging the mug into the sink, and starting to pace around on the worn rug. A hand moving to run through my hair in desperation, as I resisted the urge to remodel my entire home. Had it not already been gray I’m certain it would have lost all of its pigment right then and there. 

Did I do the right thing? And if I did, why did I feel like hurling myself into the ocean? Yet, not even the part of me that agreed with my actions could justify upsetting May so much. And the thought alone was enough to make my fingers tug angrily at the collar of my shirt. I thought everything would work itself out, but this yearning hadn’t chased itself off. The beat of my heart hadn’t changed, no matter how much effort I placed into drowning my ill-found feelings. Feelings that seemed to cling despite my best attempts to rid myself of them. 

Defeated, I sat down on my bed. Gaze wandering to the stand beside it where a crumpled piece of paper sat amongst rocks and pictures. It had been two days since I had argued with May, and I hadn’t heard from her since. Though she had no reason to contact me. I had chased her away in the first place, but my eyes still lingered on that senseless and naïve letter. I could barely recall the content sprawled messily upon its surface; something about becoming champion or taking over her father’s gym. It was just a collection of reckless dreams she had sent to me shortly after I had first met her. At the time, I respected her passion and recognized her talents, but nothing more than that. Just some trainer gifted with a talented father, and a deep love for the creatures around us. 

Heaving a sigh, I rubbed my face into my palms. Everything I had done after that meeting had been a mistake. One that spiraled out of my own hands before I even realized how my heart managed to stumble over itself whenever I saw her. Try as I might to push her away then, all I seemed to be doing only managed to give her more chances to shove my feelings right back into my face. 

I felt a tension growing in my hand, and before I realized it, I had balled it into a fist against my forehead. Frustration and an anger growing, but only towards myself. Shoving myself off of the bed, I grabbed the letter from my desk. Crumpling it even more so in my hands, as I crossed over to the door. Grasping tightly onto the doorknob, even as I felt myself hesitate. Hand squeezing harder on the knob than I had realized, and I think I had begun to hold my breath at some point along the way. If I could just throw this damnable letter away, but even as the thought ran through my mind, I found myself even more reluctant to yank open the door. 

Deep was the breath I took, and then released, as I committed myself to the task. But just as my resolve had been built up, a wild pounding at the door shattered it. Along with whatever steady beat my heart had managed to keep. Hurling the letter to the back of the house, I yanked open the door swiftly. But I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. Norman. His fists balled, and brows creasing. I could see his arms shaking. He wasn’t the type to let his emotions flare up, and it only took me a second to connect the dots before he began to speak. 

“You were the last person to speak to May. Where is my daughter?” He blurted out. Words a jumbled mess of anger and urgency, spoken quickly enough to make them difficult to understand at first. Until it finally smacked me in the face. 

“I’m afraid I do not know what you are talking about, Norman. Has something happened?” I tried to keep my growing concern out of my voice, but I could see the anger rising on his tired features. The heaving of his chest, as he held himself back with all of his strength. And I could hear my own sporadic breathing, as I tried to keep myself calm. 

“May’s gone. She didn’t come home after she spoke to you.” He tried to relax his shoulders a bit, as he saw the color drain from my face once the words left his mouth. I had said too much to her. Yet another mistake to add to my ever growing list of failures. “Where is my daughter, Steven?” He asked again. 

“I-“ Yet, even as I spoke up to deny whatever part he thought I had played in May’s escape, I could not bring myself to finish. Instead, I felt worry consume my mind, and my gaze drop, as my mind rushed over a thousand ideas at once. “I know where she is,” I finally managed to admit. 

“What did-“

“Nothing, Norman. It is merely a hunch. I assure you I did not know she was missing.” Still he looked angry, and I fully prepared myself for whatever outburst he was holding back. 

Only, instead, he managed a quiet, “Where?” 

Shoving my hand into my jacket, I pulled out a Pokeball. “It’s not on the map. This Pokemon will take you there, though.” He hesitated, but managed to pry his fist open long enough for me to set the Pokeball into his hand. He muttered a thank you before storming off. 

Turning on my heels, I slipped back into the house. Scanning the floor for only a brief moment before I found the crumpled letter, and picked it up. I could not blame him for his anger. But even still, I wanted so badly to go look for her. It wasn’t my place. I needed to remove myself from her life, and I repeated those thoughts over and over again, as I made my way out of the house. And stood at the water’s edge. Whatever connection we had. Whatever our relationship even was. I needed to end it. Yanking back my arm, I hurled the paper with as much strength as I could muster into the water.


	5. Growing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May runs away from the trouble she feels she had caused those around her, but someone comes looking for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May's point of view. I apologize for two shorter chapters in a row, but the next one will get us back on track.

The rough grass brushed against my damp cheeks, as I rubbed my face into the dirt. The rumbling of the ground my head was settled against obscured the low whimpers of the Pokemon beside me. Her chirps a whisper against the noises around us; the ones within my own head, as I felt the thick mud of the island’s soil collect on my skin. My already filthy hands shifted up to cup around my ears to drown out her whining entirely. She meant well, of course, she was worried, but the sound of her cries only managed to make me feel all the more guilty. I had come here to be left alone, preferably in silence, and her soft, little calls of concern were distracting me, as she had refused to return to her Pokeball after we had landed here. While her concern for me was endearing, and a part of me was glad I hadn’t at least messed up my relationship with my Pokemon, her poorly timed songs were not doing wonders for the growing amount of dread that had formed in my empty stomach. 

“Latias, please,” I groaned into the dirt as if the dragon could understand my complaints. But my mumbles only seemed to attract the concerned Pokemon, and she shoved her muzzle into my hair. Lips pulling whatever strands of it she could gather into her mouth while rubbing her snout into my scalp. With an annoyed huff, I swatted at her hovering form lazily. Hand yanking through the air, and missing her by miles before it smacked back against the ground with a squeak of protest from the creature. “No,” I argued, shoving myself upright to wave my arms at her, but my efforts to rid myself of the overbearing dragon were only rewarded by the sharp tug she made at my hair. A whimper of pain managed to slip past my gritted teeth, as I reached up to try to pull my hair back from her.

“Enough.” Though my scolding made her to bash her head into my chest mercilessly in order to snuggle her snout against my shoulders with enough force to shove me back against the ground. “Cut it out. I have enough to worry about right now,” I protested, as I wiggled against her unwanted attempts to comfort me. But she was stronger than I had remembered, and all my wiggling had managed was to ruin my clothes. 

With a defeated sigh, I ran my fingertips along the smooth surface of her head. “I really messed up this time, didn’t I?” She didn’t appear to understand me, as she continued to rub against me. Soft chirps still vibrating through her throat in a carefree tone, as she tried to reassure me. Pushing up, I wrapped my arms around her neck, yanking her down with me, as I shoved my face into the thin fur atop her head. 

She was warm, and, for a brief moment, embracing her made all of my troubles wash away. But away they didn’t remain for long. How mad at me was my father? How much did Steven hate me now? Was Brendan okay? I ruffled the dragon’s fur, as I allowed the thoughts to consume my mind with grief. I had ruined more than just my relationship with the former champion. I had also dragged Brendan into a mess he didn’t belong in, and shattered the hopes my parents had for me. I had destroyed my own relationship with my family, and, now, here I was. Sitting on a far off island that was nearly impossible to find, just like a coward. Never once before now had I considered myself a coward. Coward was something I had called those who had run from a fight in the past. I took challenges head on, and powered through them; something a co-called coward would never do. But this wasn’t like a Pokemon battle, or beating the Elite Four. It was far more difficult than the trails I had faced together with my Pokemon because when it came to my relationships with people, I had to fix them on my own. 

“What am I going to do?” I sighed against Latias’s fur, holding onto her tightly. “I have to clean up this mess somehow.” Who knows what kind of tall tale the reporters had come up with when they had caught sight of me fleeing from the Devon Corporation’s building. To be perfectly honest, I most certainly didn’t, and the thought of it alone was enough to make me consider staying here forever. Not that doing so would fix anything. 

I pulled away from Latias with a chirp of protest from the loyal Pokemon. Rubbing my hands against my head, as I tried to ease the growing ache forming within it. Running away seemed so easy right now. Probably because I had already run away from everything by coming here. What a disappointment I had become. What kind of champion just runs away from her problems? The kind that embarrasses herself in front of nearly the entire world. It hadn’t been long since I had claimed this title, and I already pulled it through the mud. I had everything I had ever dreamed of, at least in terms of my own goals. But in the process, I had destroyed my relationship with the people I cared for.

“Well, I guess we better get going, huh?” I offered the Pokemon a weak smile. “I never run away.” Well, I never had before now, and it wasn’t something I was going to make a habit of. An overjoyed cry pulled from the dragon’s throat, and she eagerly poked at my hand. I couldn’t say my current expression matched her enthusiasm, if anything, it washed it away. But if she still had the energy to support me, I could at least try to keep the forced smile upon my dirty features. 

Placing my hand on her neck, I readied myself for returning to the real world. A fist forming against her fur, as my feet dug into the ground, and my free hand found her back. But before I could jump onto her back, a loud shriek of surprise released itself from the dragon’s mouth, and I flung my gaze towards the sky. A lump formed in my throat when I spotted a blue blur moving increasingly closer to us. What courage I had managed to collect instantly fled from my shaking legs, and I leaned onto Latias for support. My lips and tongue felt dry, as they pressed against my mouth. My heart pumping against my rip cage, as I squinted in a sorry attempt to get a better view of the Pokemon. 

There was just simply no way Steven would come looking for me, was there? But that blue dragon was unmistakably Latios, even at this distance. I couldn’t make out the rider from where I stood, though, and I was tempted to close my eyes until he landed, or pray that he didn’t land here. But instead my eyes were fixed on the creature getting ever closer to where we stood. Each second that passed brought his rider deeper into my range of vision, and slowly I could begin to see the form of a man seated upon his back. But as the dragon prepared to land, I noticed the man’s hair wasn’t a smooth silver, but instead a far darker color. And my heart sank. Not out of disappointment, but out of fear. I was in no way prepared to face my father, and I wished so very badly that time would stop before the blue dragon had to land. 

But my wish didn’t come true, as Latios touched ground easily, and with him came the frantic form of my father leaping from the dragon’s back. “May!” He called out loudly, and I nearly thrust myself onto Latais’s back to escape from him, but instead his form arms wrapped around me tightly. Tighter than he had ever held me before, and making it difficult to breathe. “I am so glad that you’re all right,” He said, repeating the words over and over again before finally pulling away from me just enough to allow the breath I had been holding to release itself. 

“D-Dad,” Surprise and fear contorted my voice, as I grasped onto his shirt. I wanted to ask him how he had gotten here, and what he was doing, but I already knew the answers to those questions. And, somehow, that made me appreciate his being before me now even more. Biting my lip, I held back the wave emotions that threatened to pour from my mouth. Instead, I only managed a quiet, “I’m so sorry,” as I leaned my head against his chest, and hugged him back.


	6. Patience is a Virtue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May confronts Steven once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May's point of view.

With a deep breath, and sore fingers clutching at the Pokeball within my pocket, I raised my trembling fist. Swallowing thickly at the sight of the doorknob finally within my grasp by only mere inches now. It had taken every once if my being to end up here after my father, mother, and Brendan had forgiven me for my actions. And even then, I was fairly certain that the lump I had shoved back down my throat repeatedly in the past hour was threatening to creep back up towards my mouth once again. Standing here seemed hopeless, but I had somehow managed to convince myself to leave the safety of my room to venture to what must have been the last place on earth I belonged. I had already tried to apologize once. He hadn’t accepted my words then, and I was certain he would refuse them yet again. That was assuming he even bothered to open the door when he discovered I was the one before it. 

“Come on, May, you can do this,” I breathed. Still my hand tightened around the smooth surface of the Pokeball, and my other hesitated. But if he rejected me, and became angry with me, I would have to learn to accept the fact that was simply how things were going to end between us. But could I manage that? I would have to. I won’t become a hindrance for the people I love. With my newfound resolve, I balled my fist as tightly as I could manage and pounded on the door. Its aged, wooden frame caving slightly beneath the beating it was currently taking. And only after hearing shuffling within the house did I realize how hard I was hitting it. My face heating up rapidly, as I yanked my fist away from the door. Slipping my hands behind my back while forcing a smile onto my lips, as I noticed the few people nearby glancing in my general direction. 

However, the shuffling ceased within minutes, and with them so did my heart. I laced my fingers behind my back, holding my hands together as tightly as I could to hold back the tears that threatened to spill despite my brain telling me that I should have expected this. Steven had no reason to even give me the time of day anymore, and I couldn’t even bring myself to blame him if he chose to never speak to me again. I deserved this. Still the silence was heavy, and I was tempted to turn tail now. 

A short creak sounded, and my heart leapt nearly out of my throat, as I returned my gaze to the door. Teeth sinking down into my bottom lip when the door slid open. I did my best to meet his gaze, but it was difficult. He hadn’t changed. His face was still the smooth, gentle structure I had recalled. Clothes in order, just as always. But there were bags under his eyes that I couldn’t recall from the many times we had met before this, and he seemed worn. A mixture of joy, and concern washed over my own face despite my best efforts to remain stern. I wanted to badly to ask him what was wrong. To comfort him, but I had no right to even attempt something so unthinkable. You came here for a reason, I had to remind myself. 

“I need to talk to you!” I blurted out before he even had the chance to say a word to me. Everyone was staring now. I could hear a few people shouting my name in surprise, and calling to one another. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to care about them. 

I could see Steven’s normally calm features give way to a bit of surprise, but he quickly recovered. “I understand.” A smile lit up my features at the sound of the words leaving his mouth. I hadn’t expected him to open the door, and I most certainly hadn’t bet that he would agree to speak with me. Opening the door wider to allow me in, he stepped to the side. Rushing inside to avoid giving him the chance to take back his offer, I turned on my heels to face him the very moment he shut the door. It was or never.

“I know I’m the last person you wanted to see,” I began. I didn’t want to give him the chance to argue with me, and my bluntness seemed to tie his tongue, as he gazed down at me. A frown slipping onto his fine lips. “And I’m tired of dealing with everything that’s happened, too, but I promise I’ll leave you be after this.” I could feel the sting of tears just starting to form, and I choked them back for what must have been the tenth time today. Hands still shaking, as I balled them into fists in a sad attempt to give myself some ounce of courage. 

“May-“ Hearing my name leave those sweet lips of his nearly made my heart melt. I could feel the tears begin to fall down my cheeks, and I wiped my arm across my face as quickly as I could manage. 

“No,” I shouted to cut him off. Even the very sound of his voice was enough to make my heart ache. “All I want to say is I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done. I’ve made nothing but mistakes since becoming Champion. I’ve shamed all of Hoenn through my actions, and worst of all, I’ve hurt you. I can’t live with myself for that.” My voice was rising with each second that passed, and I was terrified that the people outside could hear me, but for the first time in my life, I saw Steven at a loss for words. So, I sucked in another deep breath, and went at it with everything I had. “From here on out, I’ll become someone I’m proud to be. Someone my parents will be happy to call their daughter.” My resolve, however, began to waver, and my words grew softer as the seconds ticked past. “So, this is goodbye. I still love you, but I don’t want to throw around those words so carelessly ever again.” Lowering my gaze away from the sorrow that lined his eyes, I whispered, “I want to love you, if you would let me, by getting to know you. I understand, though, that I don’t have a place in your life.” 

Removing my hand from my pocket, I shoved the Pokeball he had given me what felt like ages ago into his chest, and dodged past him to slip out of the door. Lights flashing all around me the moment I stepped back out into the world, blinding me for a brief moment. Those damn cameras that ruined Steven’s life fixed on me, as their horrid owners shouted questions I couldn’t hope to hear over the sound of frantic onlookers. So, standing up straight, I looked them dead on. I wasn’t a coward. I was the trainer who took everything head on, and never backed down. 

“I know I’ve been gone for awhile now, and that the choices I’ve made weren’t the right ones. But Steven has no place in the mistakes I’ve made. Everything up until now has been my fault, and I would appreciate it if you could leave St- The crowd tore their attention off of me, and the words slipped from my mouth. I turned, horrified, to see Steven stepping out of his home to stand beside me. 

“I am afraid the current Champion has been busy undergoing training recently. Please forgive her absence. I am at fault for the mistakes she has made for not properly preparing her to take on the role of Champion.” With that, he offered the group a quick bow, and took me by the arm, and retreated into his home. 

“W-What are you doing,” I snapped, keeping my tone as low as possible, as I stumbled back into the house after him. “Are you trying to ruin your career,” I nearly shouted at him once we were behind the walls of his house. 

“I’m saving yours.” His voice took on a harsher tone once we were inside, but I could still see concern and fear leaking onto his stern face. Guilt struck me for a moment, and all of the rage I had felt seconds ago seemed to slip from my mind. I could tell he was worried about me, and he cared for me in some way. 

Even so, he was destroying himself to save my sorry ass. “But you’re getting blamed for something you didn’t do,” I managed to protest in a hushed tone before ripping my gaze from him. This wasn’t fair. 

“That’s irrelevant. You need to concern yourself with your own image. Not mine.” I opened my mouth to argue, but ee reached into his pocket to pull out the Pokeball I had shoved at him earlier before I could do so. Reaching out to gently take my hand in his own to place it on my open palm. “May, I apologize for what I’ve said to you, but you need to focus on your future.” 

I felt my fingers wrap tightly around the Pokemon, squeezing it hard in my fist, as I took my hand from his. “What about you?” I nearly hissed, feeling anger begin to boil in the pit of my stomach all over again. 

“You’re the Champion now.” 

I could feel my hand trembling, lips quivering, as I pressed them together to avoid shouting at him. “So what? I didn’t ask for all of this! I didn’t ask for you to help me, or put yourself down!” I wanted to be successful, yes. I wanted to be worthy of my father’s legacy, yes. But the rest of this nonsense? Forget it. No one ever told me becoming Champion would make me the media’s favorite play toy. And being the center of attention was never something I had ever wanted. And I most certainly didn’t want to ruin Steven’s life. “I hate this,” I mumbled, so quietly that I prayed Steven couldn’t hear the words.


	7. Checkmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven admits he might have feelings for May.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May's point of view, yet again. I have no idea where this story is going now, I only had ideas for through chapter five, so we'll see where the characters take us now.

The air around us was thick, and I could feel its crushing weight leaning into my chest. My lungs burned, struggling to just keep me alive, and my heart throbbed. As if my ribcage was shoving against it with all of its strength in a sad attempt to puncture it in order to reduce the pain. I was certain my heart was fighting a losing battle, but I tried to keep my face smooth despite feeling my mind rush when I saw Steven’s expression soften. He had heard my pitiful plea, only adding to the pressure I already felt.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to say. “I should get going.” But my feet were plastered to the floor. My legs felt heavy, and I found it hard to even think about walking towards the door. My heart was pumping; pounding loudly in my ears. I could feel the awkward sensation of sweat starting to form on my arms and face. I moved my hands to grasp at my shoulders, hugging my body close to me when a shiver ran through me. I was afraid. I was terrified that if I went back out there they would be waiting for me; expecting something from me when I had nothing to offer them. Had Steven ever felt this way? Was this feeling of failure something that every Champion was force to feel at some point or another? 

“May.” I couldn’t look him the eyes. I couldn’t admit that I was afraid of the press, and of the people that expected so much from me. I had a talent when it came to battling, but there was still so much I didn’t understand. What did they want from me? Am I naïve, or I am simply just young? I’m a moron for not knowing what to give them, or how to make them proud. I’m the Champion, I should know these things, right? “Sit down.” I felt my stiff muscles loosen at the words. Did I really look that tense? 

Steven crossed over to me, placing a steady hand on my back. He guided me over to his table, Pulling out one of the aged chairs that sat neatly around it before removing his hand from me. Plopping ungracefully into a heap on the chair, I leaned onto the table. Arms crossed beneath my chin, as my lips pulled upward towards my nose in a look of disgust. Pokemon were so much easier to understand than people. Not to mention easier to deal with when they were upset. 

“Are you all right?” He shifted to sit across from me. 

“I’m fine, really,” I tried to reassure him, but even I could hear the scratchiness of my own voice, and felt the trembling of my arms against the table. Even the stubborn part of me had no desire to venture back outside if I meant I was going to get bombarded again. Didn’t these people have anything better to do with their time? Apparently not. I felt my face scrunch up at the thought, and, for a short moment, I thought I heard a repressed laugh from Steven. “What?” I spat, lifting my face up from the table to glare at him. 

“Nothing.” My eyes narrowed at the claim. Jerk. I can see you trying to hide a smile, but it was hard to stop a grin from forming on my own face when I realized the expression my features had been locked into a moment ago. But I let it fade quickly. Steven was only concerned about me because he was worried about Hoenn’s image. He had only been kind to me because he recognized my talent, not because he cared about me. Even if the thoughts were difficult to keep in mind, I couldn’t allow myself to get carried away again. 

“May, is something bothering you?” Steven asked. With a groan, I shoved my face back into my arms. Did he really have to ask? Didn’t he already know what was bothering me? 

“You know what’s wrong.” I wouldn’t admit how afraid of them I was, and I most certainly wasn’t going to admit to the fact that I could feel my own heart ripping itself apart. Sitting here might have been more painful than just going out there to face the people waiting outside for us. “What were you thinking?” I breathed. How could he take the blame for me? Why would he? 

I heard a sigh escape his lips, and the sound of the chair scrapping against the wooden floor, as he leaned back. “There’s no reason for you to concern yourself with me.”

And those words just set me off all over again. “Bullshit!” I shouted, as I stood up. Slamming my hands hard against the table. “You just ruined your career to save me. Of course there’s a reason for me to be concerned.” 

“It’s fine.” He met my gaze easily, not even flinching despite the force I had struck the table with. Why did he always have to be so calm? 

“It’s not fine! I’m the moron here, not you.” Sliding back down into the chair, I tore my gaze away from him. “I wanted to impress you, but all I ended up doing was embarrassing myself,” I admitted quietly. 

“What are you talking about?” Confusion crossed into his stern voice, and I found myself regretting the words I had just spoken. 

“At the party,” I finally managed to say. 

“Have you lost your mind?” I looked up when he spoke. His expression had changed. It wasn’t nearly as calm as the one I was used to staring at. It was tense, and there was a fear in his eyes I had never seen before. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” I shot back, though my voice lacked anger. It was difficult for me to argue with him when he was looking at me in such a manner. “I thought if I could impress you-” I cut myself off, not willing to admit to my own stupidity. 

“Why would you think that?“

“I’ve told you already. I loved you.” How many times have I had those words now? “But I know I don’t have the right to say it anymore. I’m sorry for being such a fool.” I had told myself I wouldn’t claim to love him when I still knew so little about him. 

“No, May, you’ve done nothing wrong.” He relaxed slightly. His own gaze wavering from mine. “I’m sorry.” I wanted to protest, but I forced myself to keep my mouth shut for once, and let him finish. “I should have spoken to you sooner about this. The last thing I wanted was for you to get hurt.” 

“What do you mean?” I found myself glued to the man before me. My heart aching, as I scooted to the edge of my seat. Afraid that if I was too far away, I wouldn’t be able to hear him. Afraid that he would stop talking right there.

He hesitated for a long moment; prolonging the suffering of my throbbing heart, before he finally, quietly, spoke up. “It’s not that I don’t share feelings for you, May, it’s just-“

“Y-You’re serious?” I choked out before he could finish. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest, and my body shaking. A part of me was so blissfully happy to hear those words leave his mouth that I wanted to leap across the table and embrace him, but the more realistic part of my brain kept me pinned to the chair. _It’s just, what?_ I wanted to ask him, but I found myself too afraid of the answer to question him. But if he loved me, why did it seem like he was trying to do everything in his power to keep me out of his life? 

He stood up. “I do love you, May, just, I need to think this over for now.” I sunk further into my chair. This was too cruel. Here he was, confessing the words I had always dreamed he would say to me, and then yanking them from my fingers all over again. “For now, how about we focus on getting you out of here?” He offered me one of those smooth, but so clearly fake, smiles of his. 

“Yeah,” I sighed, defeated. I couldn’t take much more of this anyway. “I don’t suppose you have any ideas?” I watched, as he crossed over to the window, parting the blinds carefully with his fingers in order to peek out. When he pulled away, I knew there were still people gathered about his home from the frown that formed on his face. Great. Why can’t they just give it up already? 

“I’ll keep them occupied while you sneak out.” 

“No way.” I stood up from the chair, and stormed over to his side. “I’m not letting you take another bullet for me.” 

“Please, listen to me, May.” 

“Why don’t you listen to me this time?” I responded as firmly as I could manage. 

His shoulders eased, and a look of defeat crossed over his features. “All right. What do you have in mind?” 

I reached into my bag to yank out a Pokeball. “I am the Champion, after all, I think I can handle these guys.” I could feel my courage returning to me, even if only due to my desire to protect Steven. “Trust me on this one, okay?” If I let Latias out of her ball, I was certain their attention would follow her, and then I could escape while they were distracted. 

The frown on his face was enough to tell me he didn’t like the idea of letting me do this on my own, but he also didn’t argue with me. “All right. Be careful.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry!” With that, I crept past him.


	8. Straightjacket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven speaks to Wallace about his feelings for May, and manages to convince him to make a drastic move in order to remove himself from May's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the lack of an update recently. I only had ideas for up to chapter seven, but I think I've gotten a bit of an idea as to where this thing is heading. 
> 
> Steven's point of view.

“So,” He drawled, and I couldn’t restrain the groan that slipped from my mouth following its utterance. I could feel regret beginning to boil in the back of my mind, and every part of my brain that was still sober begged me to shove the nearest object into his face in order to save my sanity. But I must have been a masochist at that moment because I managed to drown out that growing desire by taking a swing from the glass before me. And, before I had another opportunity to protest, he had begun again. “With all of these ugly rumors floating around about you, what are you planning on doing? I would hate to see something become of you as a result of such nonsense.” With his question finally finished, he leaned across the table, as if attempting to peer into my eyes in whatever state of sobriety he may, or may not, have been in. 

“Nothing,” I said sharply, dismissing the way his lips curled inward, and how his eyes dropped at that single word. The pout that still managed to form despite the heap he currently was on my table failed to surprise me. Dramatic was a word I had attached to the man across from me since our childhood. And that certainly hadn’t changed despite the years. “There is nothing for me to do, Wallace,” I repeated, as if that would convince him. 

Shoving himself, gracefully, I’ll admit, upwards on the table. He leaned over it in order to shove his index finger into my face. “If you keep refusing to meet with the rest of the League, and continue to erase yourself from the public eye, you’ll end up ruining yourself, Steven.” I could feel my brows crease. Part of me had prayed that he wouldn’t have been sober enough to bring up my failing future, but I suppose I shouldn’t have underestimated his concern for me. 

When I failed to respond, he leaned back with a sigh. “Why are you being so stubborn about this? Did something actually happen?” His interest in the subject appeared to spark in his eyes, as the words slipped from his mouth. “Oh, Steven, don’t tell me-“

“If you start spewing gibberish, I’ll kick you out,” I cut him off abruptly, but even that didn’t seem to deter his growing interest in the subject. And I was forced to draw back slightly when he decided to lean on my poor table again. As if shoving his face as close to mine as he could manage would somehow reveal every secret I had ever kept from him. “Wallace, I’m serious.” I wasn’t sure how willing I was to kick my best, and possibly only, friend out of my house in the middle of the night to fend for himself, but I was very much considering it as an option. 

“It’ll be worth it,” He began, and I felt my head threatening to explode at the sound of his voice; I hated it when he was right. I hated how well he knew me. I wasn’t prepared to deal with his prying, even if I had seen it coming. “If you do happen to feel that way, I’m more than willing to support you. After all, you’re awful at pursuing relationships.” And at that point, there was nothing in my power that I could do to remove him from my home, or my life; he had set his mind on something that I couldn’t even begin to understand. 

“I don’t.” A frown crossed his lips for only a brief moment before they curled into a smile I could only describe as wicked. 

“Liar,” He retorted. “Just admit it.” 

“I will not admit to anything that is clearly-“

“You’re only creating more trouble for yourself, you know?” 

I felt a harsh sigh leave my lips, and I pushed him back, gently, to get him out of my face. “You’re creating far more trouble for me than the media is.” A lie, yes, but it also wasn’t entirely untrue. He was a difficult person by nature. 

“So, is that why you wanted to speak with me? And here I thought you missed my company,” He complained, shoving an over-the-top pout onto his lips once again. “It’s such a shame. How heartbreaking it much be that she hasn’t contacted you since she came over last.” His voice was verging on both pity and amusement. “Well, my friend, you have nothing to fear with me around. I’ll be sure to give you the fairytale ending you most certainly deserve,” He shouted, bouncing up with his newfound determination. All right, maybe he wasn’t nearly as sober as I had originally thought, though it was always a bit hard to tell with him. 

“No, Wallace.” He nearly flopped to the ground when I spoke. “Nothing will come of this.” 

“But you’re admitting you have feelings for her,” He protested. 

“Regardless of my feelings for her, or hers for me, what matters is her future and her happiness.” 

“Fine,” He snorted before asking, “But then what do you need me for?”

“To be perfectly honest, you’re better at handling these things than I am,” I admitted. I only had so much patience with others, and I could feel my will to deal with the media, and the rest of Hoenn, draining with each passing day. 

Wallace’s lack of willingness to help showed on his reluctant features. Arms crossed over his chest, as he pressed a finger to his forehead. “You want me to make up a rumor about you that will take you out of this equation with May?” He spoke up, voice lacking the same enthusiasm it had shown moments ago. “I don’t really like this, Steven. Won’t you be hurting her? Isn’t there something else that can be done that won’t make her hate you?” 

“This is all I ask of you.” 

“I don’t want to do this.” He got to his feet, a hand running through his hair, as he paced over to the door. Turning to lean against it, as he stared at me. There was a certain display of disgust looming in his eyes that I forced myself to dismiss. It was quiet aside from the sound of his bare foot scrapping against my floor, as he debated over something I couldn’t begin to guess. 

“I really do like, May,” He finally said. “She’s a spirited young woman, who has a way with her Pokemon that is unique and beautiful.” Even as he spoke, he seemed torn. Eyes glued to something behind me. “And I like the idea of her with you.” The moment he spoke the words, I was fully prepared to snap at him, but he managed to speak before I could gather the words to scold him with. “I realize she’s young, Steven, but it’s been many years since you’ve displayed interest in another human being. I enjoy seeing you caught off guard, and unsteady. It reminds me that you’re not nearly as grounded as you pretend to be. You both seem happier when you’re together than you’re apart, and thinking about one another.” 

“This isn’t something I need your opinion on.” I turned away from him, following his gaze to the damaged picture frame he was so intently staring at. I allowed a frown to cross my lips only for a moment before I pushed myself onto my feet. Crossing over to the glass cabinet that the frame sat upon, and pushing it down against the smooth surface. “Do you understand?” 

“Even if I say I believe you two would be wonderful for one another?” He made his way over to me. 

“No matter what you say.” He slid his hand across the glass, fingers gracing against the dusty wood of the frame, as he tried to pry it out from beneath my hand. Shoving more of my own weight upon it, I nearly snapped his fingers beneath it, narrowly missing them just as he retracted them. 

Rubbing his fingers against his palm, he finally heaved a sigh of defeat. “Very well, I’ll do what I can, but if you come to regret this decision, you’ll have to fix it on your own. And if May won’t forgive you after this, well, I won’t blame her.” He turned away from me. “But you should stop trying to decide everything yourself.” He slammed the door behind him, and while I felt as if a weight had been taken off my shoulders with his leave, the feeling of dread that always nipped at the back of my mind didn’t leave with it. I knew there was little I could do, but I felt obligated to protect her; to not allow her to get dragged down with me.


	9. Sharpen the Knife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month since May has seen Steven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a break from this story because I didn't like where it was going, but I spent so much time away from it that I even forgot what I had planned, so I decided to work on it again. I apologize for the million years it took me to write this chapter.

My trembling fingers gripped the plate tightly. So tightly I could feel every drop of water that slowly cascaded down its slick surface, pushing past them to fall into the sink below. Soap gathered around my hand, as I rubbed my thumbs over it, mixing it in with the suds that had already collected on my skin. Wrinkling my fingertips. The sound of the facet felt distant when compared to the quiet ticks of the clock upon the counter beside me. Reminding me of each and every second of my life I was wasting away. I strained my eyes staring at its plain form in the dimly lit room, leaning onto the sink, and ignoring the sticky sensation of my damp shirt clinging to the countertop. It felt like someone had glued my eyes to that clock. I couldn’t force myself to look away, because hidden behind those tiny numbers, and annoying clicks, I could see Steven’s face and hear his voice. The smile I missed so. The one so fake that it made me quiver. The words he had spoken to me that still kept me up at night. The ones that constantly spun through my head; the ones my brain had convinced me were a lie. How could someone like him even possibly love me? After everything I had done. I can’t even remember when I became so cynical. It was unlike me.

A month had passed since the last time I had seen his face. I had stopped trying to speak to him. I felt guilty about all I had done, but at least the papers weren’t constantly covered in awful rumors about the former Champion, serving as a reminder for how much I had royally screwed up his life. Those were memories I could deal without. Sure, they still wrote a lot about me, but it was worth it to keep them away from Steven. That, and I probably deserved every word they spewed about me. I felt my hold on the plate loosen, and I set it back down into the sink. Shoving my head into my wet arms. Rubbing my forehead on my skin, as a frustrated sigh left my lips. I’m such a moron. I must have told myself those words at least a thousand times in the past month. A moron for not fighting back sooner. A moron who believed in the perfect romance. A moron who believed I could somehow make everything work out. But most of all, I’m a moron for letting go of Steven.

I banged my head against the counter to try to rid myself of these awful thoughts. Glaring at the specs still clinging to the plates that I had cleaned at least half a dozen times already. There was a reason I didn’t normally help around the house, but I wanted to be away from the world. I hadn’t battled for a month. I had no will to. For some reason, it didn’t bring me the joy it once had. I hugged my arms close to my chest, feeling my nails prick at my skin. Nothing felt right anymore. I thought letting all hope of Steven ever becoming involved with me would help me move on, but all it had done was make my heart throb. Each and every beat was painful now, and I can’t even begin to figure out what’s made it keep pumping through all of this.

Sometimes, I wish it would just stop.

“May!” Brendan’s voice shouted, as he banged on the door. My back went rigid, and I bolted upright, nearly smacking my head on the shelf above the sink in the process. With a frown, I yanked myself from the counter, and dragged my tired body to the front door. Ready to give him a piece of my mind, even if I was tempted to just let him keep pounding away at the poor thing to save myself from one of his lectures. But there was only so much I could take, and all of his shouting was about it. I grabbed hold of the handle, flinging the door open so hard that Brendan almost fell into the house. He stumbled forward, slapping his palms on his knees, he panted violently, as he leaned over, trying to catch his breath. But he didn’t even himself enough time to stand up straight before starting.

“Something’s happened to Steven,” He managed to choke out, and all I could do was stare at him, wide-eyed. A part of me thought maybe I had just misheard him. That I was so focused on Steven that everything that happened had to somehow revolve around him, but no. Those words had actually left Brendan’s mouth. All of the blood drained from my face, and my fingers felt numb. The sound of my heart beating banged so loudly that I couldn’t even process Brendan’s strained breathing anymore, and had completely tuned out the sound of the faucet I had left running.

“What do you mean? What happened?” I felt like I was shouting at him, and I probably was, but I couldn’t help it. I was shaking, and scared to death. More afraid than I had ever been in my entire life. Rendered motionless by that simple sentence that had felt like someone had taken a hammer to what remained of my heart.

What if it was somehow my fault? What if I had ruined his life all over again? What if something terrible had happened to him? If only I had spoken to him this past month. If only I had been there, maybe I could have done something. Those were the thoughts that rushed through my head now. I must have looked horrified, as Brendan straightened himself out quickly, and tried to calm me down, his hands reaching out to clutch my shoulders, but nothing he could do now would make the rush of regret, guilt, and concern that washed over me leave now. How could I have let this happen? Oh, please, all I wanted was for him to be happy.

“I don’t really know the details,” Brendan began, “But I thought you should know. He left the Devon Corporation –“

“What do you mean he left? Did he quit?” I hadn’t even let poor Brendan finish before shouting at him all over again. He wasn’t speaking nearly as fast as I needed him to, and I could feel my own impatience creeping up into my growing fear. My hands trembling so much that I swear I could have powered my entire house with them.

“I’m sorry, he just left one day. No one can find him,” He blurted out the words as quickly as he could manage to keep from cutting him off again, and I felt somewhat relieved he was taking me seriously, but that hardly brought my any comfort in the long run.

“What do you mean he’s gone, Brendan? People just don’t vanish.” I was screaming now, as if everything was clearly Brendan’s fault, and he needed to solve this problem. As if blaming him made me somehow feel like this might not be my fault, but deep down, I was completely aware of the horrid chance that Steven’s disappearance could have had something to do with me ruining his life.

“Well, he kind of did. I just found out now, but he’s been away from Devon for a while now. No one told us. Your dad probably didn’t want you to worry.” My heart stopped when those words left Brendan’s mouth. How long was a while? A few days? A week? A month? Had he been gone since we stopped speaking? A thousand thoughts flew into my mind. It was my fault. I should have never bothered him. I should have left him alone. Why had no one told me before? I should have gone after him. I should have spoken to him. I shouldn’t have avoided him this past month. Or maybe, I should have never met him in the first place.

My hands pressed firmly into my chest, crushing my fingers against my rip cage painfully. I had told him I loved him, but I had done nothing for him. He had given up his life to save mine, and I had given him nothing in return for his kindness that I didn’t deserve. It hurt more than Brendan’s words. I wanted to dig my own personal grave to crawl into, and never climb out of. I could feel a sting of tears forming, and I tried to fight them back. How many times had I tried to convince myself I didn’t love him this past month? Too many times to count, yet here I was, feeling my heart slow to the point of stopping at the very thought of something happening to him. I still loved him. So much I couldn’t even bear it. So much that it was painful. 

“I have to find him,” I muttered, but the moment I had spoken those words, Brendan’s fingers tightened around my shoulders, as if to hold me in place. If I loved him. I had to do something for him. I had to help him, if only this once; I wanted to save him.

“There’s something else you should know. There’s rumors going around that he might have left with a woman.” I grabbed his wrists at the words, wanting to tear them from my shoulders, but I didn’t have the will. Instead I wrapped my fingers around them. The tears I had been fighting back now flowed freely, and I felt their salty taste in my mouth for the first time since I had stopped speaking to Steven. Another woman.

A part of me had always known Steven would never love me. I was too young. Too naïve. Everyone always told me that. But most of all, I knew I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t beautiful enough. Not talented enough. Not amazing enough to even cross the mind of someone like Steven. He had the world at his fingertips, and I was always trying to take that from him. He was always distant, but I felt as if we could have been closer. I felt as if I could somehow find a way to make things work out. I felt that maybe, just maybe, if I changed, he would look at me differently. He would see me as something other than a trainer he respected. I had always felt my efforts were pointless, but each day that passed that I didn’t try was more painful than the days he would become annoyed with me. I was so madly in love him, and I still am. I felt as if my heart would explode whenever I thought about him. Burst in a thousand pieces that couldn’t have been repaired, even by Steven himself.

But there was something more. The rest of me that refused to give up, even now. I was stronger than this. Even if Steven had come to hate me this past month, I could face reality as long as I knew he was all right. If he had allowed himself to love someone, I could find a way to be happy for him, couldn’t I? After all, I loved him with my entire being, and I could think of nothing I wanted more than to see him happy. To see him free, and if there was someone who could give that to him, I would thank her. My heart might never recover, and I may always love him, but if he was happy, and safe, everything would be fine. I would be okay.

I released Brendan’s arms, and whipped my arm along my eyes, blinking back the water in my eyes. “I still have to look for him, Brendan,” I told him firmly. If I was truly going to let Steven go, I wanted to see him smile first. A real smile. One that could somehow make everything worthwhile. Even if I wasn’t one he smiled at; everything would be all right if I could see it just once. Maybe I could forget him, if I could just see him happy for once in his life.

“But-“ Brendan was quick to object, but that was as far as I was willing to let him go. I had made up my mind, and, even if my choice was a foolish one, I was going to pursue it.

“I’ll be okay, Brendan,” I reassured him. Forcing a smile. “I need to do this for myself.” Just one last time, I wanted to see him. I wanted to feel my heart skip a beat when he spoke to me. I wanted to feel the excitement that always ran through me when he looked my way. I wanted to see the face I had come to know so well again. I wanted to hear his sweet voice. I wanted to have another chance to be with him. I wanted to love him just one last time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support, and reading!


End file.
